Thursday, November 03, 2011

Deepening Relationships

The truth is that we have been created to be in relationships with others. All people not only desire to be in a deep relationship with another person, but it is a part of their make-up to have deep relationships. In this blog I would like to explore how we can deepen our relationships.

First, for a relationship to go deeper there needs to be honesty. You need to be able to share with the other person your thoughts, and feelings, and desires, and dreams. You need to be able to talk about important topics and not hold back. You need to allow yourself to tell this other person what you experienced, both past and present. You need to develop an environment where both of you can talk openly.

Second, communication is important in a relationship. In my counseling of couples, I see this as one of the weakest points of people’s relationships. People have trouble communicating with others. There have been many times when I have told one spouse something, and then I will see the other spouse a week later, only to learn that the wife never communicated the information to the husband; or visa versa. People don’t talk that much anymore, and if they do talk, there is not much depth to their conversation. We have to learn good communication skills, and have a willingness to communicate, if we hope to develop deeper relationships.

Third is what I call the triangle of relationships. How this works is that God is at the top of the triangle, one person in the relationship is on one side of the triangle, and the other person is on the other side. As a person grows in their relationship with God, they move up the triangle toward the top (where the triangle gets more narrow). If both people are growing in their relationship with God together, then they will inevitably be growing closer to each other as well. The stronger they are in their faith, the deeper their relationship with each other will be able to grow.

I pray that we will all seek to deepen our relationships with those whom we desire to grow closer to. May God bless you in your relationships!